What If?
by in.the.palm.of.your.hand
Summary: What if Rory didn't push Jess away at Kyle's party? What if Rory hadn't said 'no' to Jess? What if?


**What If?**

**by Tamar-Shakira**

Yesterday I saw the episode in which Rory says 'no' to Jess several times and I felt I had to write this story. _Because happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If only one remembers to write a good literati story._ :)

These will be my versions of some of the episodes, how I think they should have happened. Starting with _Keg!Max!_

I'm sitting on a chair in Kyle's bedroom, revising the day. It can't get any worse. I can't sink any lower. It feels like I'm at the bottom of a bottomless pit, can you understand that? I'm kicked out of school and I don't even have the guts to tell Rory. As if speaking of the devil, she walks in. Hey, I found an even lower place.

"There you are," she says.

"Hey." I stand up and we look at each other a bit awkwardly.

"I've been looking all over for you."

"I got a bit tired of everything down there," I say, taking a step towards her.

She does the same. "Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it."

I try to make my mood lighter with a sarcastic remark. "When you're at a party, you get what you get." Nope, doesn't work.

"Yeah, I guess." We lock eyes and from the expression on her face, I can see that she senses that there's something going on with me. She reaches out and cups my face with her right hand. "Sad boy, what's wrong? You were looking forward to this party, what happened?"

I lean in to her touch. I always feel safe when she touches me, although that's a weird thought, coming from me. I still can't break the news to her, so I decide to lie. "Nothing."

"Something did. Come on, tell me." I should've known this. She won't give up. This could go on for ages. The only way that I can stop her now is by kissing her. So I do. I bridge the distance between our faces and I let my lips slowly capture hers. She responds immediately by edging closer to me.

"You're not tired of me are you?" Silly Rory. I kiss her again, deeper this time. "That's a pretty good answer. But Jess, honestly, what's wrong? And don't go 'nothing' me again, because I won't buy it."

I sigh and my hand flies to my hair, only to mess it up even more. "It's just…"

"Tell me."

"I'm not going to graduate."

I watch her face dreadfully, expecting to see fury, disappointment or disgust. But it's quite the opposite. As soon as the words leave my mouth, her face softens and she sits on the bed. Inviting me next to her, by patting the material. "How's that possible?" she asks.

I begin to pull at a loose strand on the spread. "I missed too much. I haven't been to school for thirty-one days and they kicked me out. And now I can't get tickets for the prom and Luke's going to kick me out of the apartment and I've disappointed you and I understand if you never want to see me again and that you hate me now and –"

"Jess. It's okay. I don't mind." She looks me straight in the eyes and I can tell that she isn't lying. "I kind of expected it and I certainly don't hate you. I could never hate you."

I look at her disbelievingly. Suddenly the room seems much brighter; the flowers on the bedspread even look kind of cute. But the guilty feeling in my stomach remains. "I'm sorry," I almost whisper. She shakes her head and brings her face closer mine.

"Don't." Then her lips are on mine. They're warm and soft and they're demanding. Her hands slip to my hair and they grab hold of a couple of thick, black strands. My hands, in the contrary, go to the waistband of her jeans and they draw circles on the smooth material. "Maybe we shouldn't do this here," she says in between kisses. I nod slightly, but neither of us makes attempts to pull away. I know that this could go wrong and I don't want her to hate me, right after she's told me that she doesn't. I pull away just a little bit, though my hand stay on her hips.

"Where do you want to go then?" I ask, my eyes searching hers for an answer, while hers flicker between my eyes and my lips.

"I don't know." She bites her lip uncertainly. I kiss her once more and pull her up with me, so that we're standing next to the bed.

"My place?" I ask.

"But what about Luke? Maybe my place is better. I'll go through the front door and you can go through my bedroom window. I'll tell my mother that I'm tired and I'm going to sleep and then I'll meet you in my room and –" I can hear in her voice that she's nervous, so I ask the inevitable.

"Rory, are you sure? I mean. Do you really want this? With me?" She nods.

"I'm sure." I smile and grab her hand and lace her fingers with mine.

"Let's go then." I open the bedroom door and pull us through the hall, down the stairs, past Dean, Lindsay and Lane's still playing band. As we walk over the road to her house, it's getting harder and harder to not grab her and kiss her senseless. Here, with everyone able to see. We reach her house, kiss and she says, "See you in a minute." A smile is playing at the corners of lips, when she turns and walks to the door.

I see that her bedroom window is open, so I climb on the roof and enter her room. As I stand in the middle of her neat room, I suddenly get nervous. This won't be just a quick one-night stand. This will be Rory, as in Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, as in sweet, innocent Rory, as in loved-by-every-single-person-in-the-town Rory. But I love her too. I keep telling myself. And she loves me, so it's okay, isn't it? I wipe my now sweaty hands on my legs. I can hear the faint voices of Rory and her mother. And Rory's voice is getting louder and louder.

"It was nice, mum. But I'm really tired now, so I'm going to sleep, okay?"

"Okay, hon. Sleep tight! I'm going to Luke's now. I seriously to refill my caffeine supply."

"Bye." She opens the door when the last word leaves her mouth. I can hear that she's nervous too. I look as she locks her door and turns around to watch me. She smiles.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey."

We slowly take a couple of steps towards each other, until we're a foot apart. I reach for her hands and lace her fingers with mine again. She raises her head and brushes her lips against mine. As soon as our lips meet, the tension is gone. I capture her lips with mine and wrap my arms around her tightly. Her hands go up my chest, until they grab the material of my t-shirt just below my heart. We slowly make our way to her bed and soon enough I feel the side of it bump into my knee pits. I still have the need to ask if she's sure, I don't want to screw things up. Her hands are distracting me. They are now tugging at the hem of my shirt, but as soon feel her fingertips skim my bare stomach, I come to my senses. I break away from her and ask her once again. And again, as expected, she nods and she tugs up my shirt. I allow her to pull it over my head.

I have slightly more confidence now, so I slowly start trailing kisses along her jaw line. A moan escapes from deep down her throat and she lets her head fall in her neck. I push the collar of her jumper down her shoulder and the lace of her black bra soon follows. My mouth follows the movements of my fingers, but it's not enough for her. She pushes my head up and presses her lips against mine again. At the same time she pushes me backwards, so that I fall on her bed. The satin of her bedspread is smooth and cold against my bare back. It's my turn to pull her jumper up, only interrupting our kisses for one second.

And so it goes on, until we're both naked except for our undergarments. I look her in the eyes and she looks back. I ask her one last time and one last time she says 'yes'. And that's the only answer I need to make this night an unforgettable one.


End file.
